Something That Won’t Leave You With Bad Breath
Baby It’s Cold Outside catches the worst rep when it comes to Holiday assault. Fair enough. Using the weather to elicit consent seems is as creative as it is legal. But enlisting the help of plants - Mother freaking Nature - is just a step too far for me, which makes a shallow dive into mistletoe history even more imperative.
Before we unravel how this tradition came to be, however, let’s dish out some other useless mistletoe facts.
A few species can be poisonous
Pets can die if they eat the white berries
It can be used to treat side effects of chemotherapy
Ancient Greeks prescribed it to treat menstrual cramps
It’s etymology can be traced back to the Anglo-Saxons
Who named it dung-on-a-twig because birds often pooped near it
To Be Fair
…there is something romantic about the mistletoe. Because it springs even when the world around it is frozen shut, mistletoes have come to symbolize the everpresent hope that the L-word is right around the corner. Apply that rationale to fertility, if you will.
Yet our modern usage of the mistletoe derives from ancient Norse mythology. There was this god, Odin, who has a son, Baldur and it was believed that Baldur would succumb to an early death at the hands of some mortal creature roaming our green planet.
Like any good parent would do, his mother, Frigg, sent a mass email to all of Earth’s organisms and procured an oath from them: do not harm my son. Being the goddess of Love surely carried some weight in these negotiations.
Not cc’d on that email however, was one plant in particular - the mistletoe. Of course, that sheisty god Loki saw this as an opening to remind everyone of his dickery. Loki forged an arrow out of the mistletoe and sniped Baldur precisely because he could. Invincible no more, Baldur took a dirt nap.
That is
…until mama bear got involved. According to one version of the tale, the Norse gods resurrected Baldur from the grave, giving him life anew. Ecstatic, Frigg did a 180 on the mistletoe, proclaiming it no longer a metaphor for managerial oversight and consequently, familial death. Instead, it became a symbol for love and such a strong one that Frigg promised to kiss anyone who walked underneath it.
Are there some incestual undertones to this story? Sure. Have I held a mistletoe over my Mima and planted one on her cheek? Absolutely. Nonetheless, you have full permission to shoot an arrow at someone the next time they pull this trick on you.